NEEDS to be glassed!!

Well well well, guess who failed AGAIN to show up to the party when the pressure was on? Yep, you guessed it, Damien Fucking Martyn. This gimp continues to cling to his Test spot despite his trademark 'missing in action' trick when playing in a) a match that is still alive, and/or b) in an innings of any importance. And before his fans come out and whinge "But he's got an average of 48", my response is a quick single glass to your face. The only reason his average is at the amazing 48 point something is due to his 'skill' in saving his sorry arse from the sack with meaningless hunderds in dead rubbers. Example number one of his obvious talent in choking in pressure situations, 1994, 10 runs to win the first series against South Africa since their re-introduction to Test cricket and with the tail crumbling around him, guess who plays the worst, most gutless shot in test history to leave poor old Glenn McGrath to look the royal goose in trying to salvage a now impossible win. Examples 2-15 are too far fetched for me to fit into this single segment. Example 16, the Ashes debacle. This cunt not only perfomed dismally, but he didn't even attempt to look like he cared about the situation. If you don't care, fuck off! I know Brad Hodge will gladly take his rightful spot back in the Test side with a MUCH better and more realistic average of 58 from just 4 tests. So, following possibly the biggest and most embarrassing debacle in Australian sporting history (following the oneday loss to Bangla last year, which of course you were heavily involved in Martyn!) evolving before our very eyes currently on the sub continent, its time to again pull out the 5 glasses you copped immediately after the Ashes, and finish the job on your freakingly disturbing face once and for all. Cling cling!!!!!